Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Trials

I have always been one of those people who are reluctant to share anything too personal on my blog but woke up this morning and felt so grateful for all of our wonderful family and friends and for all their thoughts, prayers and support. Even though I don't know what the future holds I have felt some comfort in the past few days and I know it is because of all your prayers so thank you!

I know that our blog is the only way we keep in touch with a few of our friends, so now that I can somewhat talk about it... here it is.

Our story...........

When I was 20 weeks pregnant we went in to have our ultrasound at the hospital to finally find out what we were having. It had been 4 1/2 weeks since we initially tried to find out if it was a boy or a girl and the suspense and excitement was killing me. I was anxious as Cade and I drove there but I told Cade that above anything else I just wanted them to tell us it was a healthy baby. I knew at this appointment they would be going over all the anatomy of our baby.

I was estatic to see our little one up on the screen. The tech went through the ultrasound pictures telling us what we were seeing as we went. At the end as I thought we were wrapping up and she was going to let us see what we were having, she suddenly but camly said there is something wrong with our baby. I was stunned. What did she mean? She said there was fluid in the stomach and went to go get the Dr. I had already began to unravel. Cade tried to keep me calm by saying that we didn't know what was wrong yet and that we shouldn't jump to thinking the worst. Which helped but I was still terrified waiting there not knowing what was going on.

A few min later the Dr came in, took a look at things, and announced to us that our baby has a cystic hygroma, which is basically a fluid filled tumor behind our babies neck. He said by looking at the fluid buildup our baby has a chromasome abnormality that he believes to be Turner's Syndrome. He explained that we were having a girl and Turner's Syndrome occurs when there is a missing X Chromosome. I found it very hard to concentrate as he went on to explain that her lyphotic system was not working which was causing there to be fluid in her stomach and chest cavity also. He then gave us the devasating news that babies with Turner's have a very low survival rate and that he did not expect our baby to make it past the next month. I felt like my whole world was upside down. How could this be happening to us and our sweet baby girl?

It has been a very rough month. For a long time I did not want to see or talk to anyone. I am very thankful for my husband and the strong priesthood holder he is. He gave me a blessing and continues to remind me that Heavenly Father has a plan for us even if that plan is not what we want.

Two weeks ago we had another appointment at the Maternal Fetal Medicine. They told us that everything is pretty much the same. It is so hard to see her at those appointments. I just want her to be alright. They wanted to monitor us weekly but said that seeing how hard it is for me that we should come in every 2-3 weeks instead.

Update:
Yesterday I went in to my regular OB. I am 24 weeks and he said that I am measuring where I should , which means she is growing and that the heartbeat is still good. We have made it past the initial point of what they thought. They still don't know what to expect as far as her outcome but it is good to know that there are no problems with her heart! Next week I will have another appointment with the specialist to see whats going on with the fluid.

I never thought I'd be this open on my blog but just wanted to say..
Thanks again for everyones thoughts and prayers. We appreciate it!

12 comments:

Kara said...

We love you and think of your constantly! Thanks for the update and I hope you continue to keep us updated on things. We pray for you guys daily and even Nathan remembers you when he says his prayers.

Justin and Amy said...

Thanks for the update. Ang told me a little about what was going on and we have been praying for you ever since. Stay strong Kim, you are doing great. Love ya

Rach said...

Hi, My name is Rachel, I am 34 and have a beautiful 4 yr old girl with Turner Syndrome, like you, i had a devestating 20week scan where a cystic hygroma and a short femur were found. I had invasive tests and a confirmed diagnosis of Turner Syndrome.
I am in the UK, I don't know where you are, but I truly have been where you are-emotionally, feel free to email me at steven.usher@sky.com (don't use google account- don't check it)

I understand, i have lived your journey.xx

Nilsson Family said...

Kim, we love you and your such a strong person and example to all of us. Keep hope!!

The Koellikers said...

my heart goes out to the three of you! your in my prayers! much much love sent your way!
ps thanks for sharing

The Sutera Family said...

Kim, I have been wanting to talk to you but didn't know if you would be up to it. I am so glad to see that you are able to talk about what your going through. I know it is so hard to do, but for me, talking about it with others helped me so much through our loss. If you ever need to talk let me know and you are and your little family are always in our prayers. We love you!

JENKIES said...

We were so sad to hear of your trial. You are in our thoughts and prayers. Love you guys, Jordan and Mandy

Bleak's said...

Thanks for sharing Kim. We will keep your family in our prayers. You have always been an example to me. I know you are strong!

Kyle and Amy said...

We love you guys- and were thinking of you and praying for you! Good luck! Keep us posted- Youll be in our prayers!

Milly said...

Kim, all i can say is you two are so special she is so special. i cant imagine how hard this is and to blog the story must have killed you iam still crying but i bet it makes you feel better inside Love you

Brooke and Kris G said...

Kim and Cade, if there is ANYTHING we can do please let us know. My heart aches for you two.

Chelsea said...

Hi Kim, I just found your blog. I'm so sorry. I can't imagine the feelings you must be having-sad, mad, hopeful, don't want to get your hopes up, why me..... I'm trully sorry and know that everything will work out for the best, even though that may not be what we want to hear. You know? We'll keep you in our prayers.